One day a boy sees his father drinking beer and he asks:
“Dad can I drink a beer with you?” The dad asks him:
Well is your Dick long enough to touch your ass?
The boy says it’s not, so the father tells him that he can’t drink a beer with him yet.
On another day the boy sees his father smoking a cigarette.
He asks: “Dad can I smoke a cigarette with you?”
The dad asks him: “Well is your Dick long enough to touch your ass?”
The boy says it’s not, so the father tells him that he can’t smoke a cigarette with him yet.
On another day the boy sees his father watching a football game on TV and he asks him:
“Dad can I watch the football game with you?”
The dad asks: “Well is your Dick long enough to touch your ass?”
The boy says it’s not, so the father tells him that he can’t watch the football game with him yet.
One day the boy is sitting in the kitchen eating some cookies.
The dad walks in and sees his son eating cookies and says:
“Boy those cookies sure do look delicious. Son can I have a cookie?
The boy asks him: “Well is your Dick long enough to touch your ass?”
“Yes,” says the dad. “Well then you can go fuck yourself because these cookies are mine.”
Scattered Fragments of Me 